Frances Bean Knows everything

New Site!

Frances Locke — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 01:30:57 +0000

Come check out my new site, Fairlyodd.net. I am blowing this Popsicle stand like a homeless man blows his dealer for crack!

He'll do anything for his fix...ANYTHING!

I plan on keeping this site up, at least for a little while. Hopefully all my homies and Rick James obsessed reader will come back out my new site, and show some love in the comments section!

Stating the obvious…

Frances Locke — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 02:27:28 +0000

The gun has a higher IQ.

Levi Johnston is the K-Fed of the North.

The microphone has a higher IQ.

A Plethora of Nerdy Perversion

Frances Locke — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 00:28:33 +0000

Like Barbie...if Barbie was an anime prostitute

I stumbled upon this lovely collection recently. Apparently the Japanese are very…um…creative with their sexuality. I honestly don’t know what to make of these.

This will look perfect next to your Sta Wars dolls...uh...figurines

Is there a purpose beyond being 12 inch 3D softcore porn? Where would you even display these? What exactly would you say when mom pops in? Or more likely, how do you hide these from mom when you’re living in her basement?

Nothing says sexy like a man with a doll collection

Words I have added to my spell check this week

Frances Locke — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 16:52:28 +0000

supernanny

splooge

snuggie

skanky

slanty

homebrew

STFU

gangsta

asshat

WTF of the week

Frances Locke — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 18:29:44 +0000

Okay, so this asshat was subjecting me to the Kathy Lee and Hoda show, which by the way should be considered cruel and unusual punishment when the cougar twins did a segment on pickle pops…

For that thirst that only pickle juice can quench.

yes, that’s right frozen pickle juice ice pops. Seriously, who thought this up? A bunch of pregnant women?

Super Freaky

Frances Locke — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 14:39:13 +0000

I’ve noticed a trend with the search terms that bring people to my site. I have two words for you, people!

Rick James is now the patron saint of the internet.

RICK. JAMES.

Who are these people searching for Rick James? These internet crusaders in search of their super freaky fix?

Welcome RickJamesophiles! He’s Rick James Bitch!

Are our kids too stupid to count to twenty?

Frances Locke — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 23:21:02 +0000

For the number challenged? Or just for the lazy?

There is a new product out aimed at the preschool set. A musica hand wash soap topper that plays your child’s favorite Disney song for twenty seconds so they can time their hand washing…

Apparently kids in the western world are either too stupid or lazy in to be able to wash their hands on their own…or it that just what they want us to think?

I call bullsh*t on this money making scam

Words I have added to my spell check this week

Frances Locke — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 13:56:51 +0000

nads

pimptastical

ramen

jello

frenemy

WTF

vag

iphone

booberator

skeeve

brainsnout

oreos

wang

By the way, apparently frenemy is now considered a REAL word! I guess my spell check didn’t get the memo.

I’ll just leave this here…

Frances Locke — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 14:19:43 +0000

baffling iphone app of the week

Frances Locke — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 16:37:50 +0000

WTF number 2? What is up with that grill?

Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco has a new iPhone application, created with the help of Bengals backup quarterback Jordan Palmer. The app breaks new ground for the media-savvy receiver.

“If you can’t fly here to chill with me you can with this app,” Ochocinco told fans via his Twitter account.

A cyber stalking worthy ass?

For $4.99, Ochocinco fans can follow his daily routine in photos, videos and tweets. They can ask his advice on dating, sex, physics, hardcore porno or anything else, send their own (dirty) photos for posting, and track where he is each day when he’s on the road. Basically it’s a cyber stalking app.

There are sound bites in English and Spanish; a “What Would Ochocinco Do?” section; a place to post fan pictures; videos; a “Where’s Ocho?” section that tracks his travels; a place for news and more. Does anyone really care?

One Ocho's cyber stalkers getting creative...