Frances Bean Knows everything

October 13, 2009

Words I have added to my spell check this week

Filed under: spell check maddness, Uncategorized — Tags: , , — Frances Locke @ 5:49 PM













What the hell is wrong with me?


October 6, 2009

The “American Girl” Effect

Filed under: rants — Tags: , , , , , , , , — Frances Locke @ 2:58 PM

american girl1

News of the release of a new American Girl doll, Gwen really got me thinking. According to the little book that comes with the doll, “Gwen” is homeless. Apparently the mother in the story loses her job, and they end up sleeping in their car.  What I love is that this doll cost almost one hundred dollars. Yeah, the doll that is supposedly advocating some kind of tolerance for the downtrodden, costs more than a week’s worth of groceries.


I have an issue with this whole culture that has sprung up surrounding these overpriced status symbols. First of all, they are a serious waste of money. And for what? So your little lovie can have the best of the best? Why not get the thirty dollar Target knock off (which is still ridiculously priced for a baby doll if you ask me) and be done with it. Because then every other spoiled child and Mombie on the block will shun your precious bratleigh for not having the “brand name” doll.

What kind of example does this set for our children? That money means everything, and you aren’t worth anything unless you have the latest status promoting tool being pushed by Mattel? When does it end? Today its American Girl , tomorrow its coach and a land rover.

What annoys me the most? When people who don’t have disposable income throw their money down the toilet.   If you and your child are living with your parents, and you can barely pay your bills, spending two hundred dollars on a silly doll and some accessories isn’t advisable. Did I mention that the AG hairbrushes cost seven dollars? I didn’t pay that much for my own brush.  And no, the brush does not come with the doll. That’s separate.

I came upon this story in the consumerist . Apparently not only would the folks at American Girl not style a “fake” dolls hair (which is actually understandable, what major company services another brand products?) but also felt the need to mock the poor child for not being able to afford a “real” doll. I have to admit some of the facts in the story are questionable (read the original blog here).However, if this woman’s story is true, then it just proves my point. That nothing good can come of the elitist culture that these dolls, and other luxury products like them have created. And who stands to be hurt the most? Our Children.


October 4, 2009

Where is your paper now?

Filed under: comedy, rants — Tags: , , , — Frances Locke @ 7:27 PM


I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there’s no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can’t paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can’t paper do this to people? Why aren’t sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating student as they attempt to take notes in class? I’ll tell you why, because paper can’t beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I’m sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole.

October 3, 2009

What a wonderful world

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — Frances Locke @ 4:39 PM

I’m feeling pretty lazy this week, so I don’t have much to say. I thought I would list some famous banned books, see as last week was banned books week. Enjoy! At least as much as you can enjoy a display of American tyranny and closed mindedness.


Doctor Zhivago



Fanny Hill


Leaves of Grass

Call of the Wild

The Canterbury Tales


These, along with many many other famous works, including The Iliad and the Odyssey,  have been banned in this country. To see a more comprehensive list visit

September 29, 2009

A coincidence? I think not…

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — Frances Locke @ 8:07 PM


Tennille from Hell’s kitchen…

rick james

Rick James (he’s rick James bitch). Never seen in the same place at the same time…I’m just sayin’.

September 27, 2009

I live in a classy town

After somebody called the WAHHHHMBULANCE this past week, Cincinnati’s Kings Island amusement park pulled its controversial Halloween display depicting dead celebrities such as Michael Jackson, Steve McNair and Billy Mayes.

jackson display

One skeleton was wearing a McNair jersey and had his alleged girlfriend/murderer Sahel Kazemi on his lap.

mcnair display

Another skeleton resembled actor Heath Ledger. The display had pills bottled strewn around it, apparently making light of Ledger’s accidental suicide. My personal favorite was the Farrah Fawcett skeleton, though I would have liked to have seen Billy Mayes (maybe with a straw up his nose and white power on his shirt).

farrah display

“Kings Island has removed the celebrity scene from its Halloween Haunt event,” King Island spokesman Don Helbig told news agencies. “We were not intending to be distasteful, and we apologize if we offended anyone.”

Because there is absolutely nothing offensive about displaying effigies of the recently departed at a Halloween event!

I love Cincinnati!

September 25, 2009

Banned Books Week 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — Frances Locke @ 9:38 AM

banned books week

Banned books week is the nation-wide celebration of our privilege and freedom to read. It was started in the early 80’s in response to an overwhelming barrage of bans and challenges against certain books in schools and libraries. Challenges in every corner of the country, transcending racial and economic boundaries.

I think the banned books week manifesto best sums up the mission.


Check out the banned books week website for more information and show your support by discussing and writing about banned books week on your blog, or with your friends and family.

September 24, 2009

I’ll just leave this here…

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , — Frances Locke @ 10:46 PM

Robert Gibbs looks like a giant penis. Seriously, check it out.


A giant ginger wang.

penis head mcgee

penis head mcgee

American Mom

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , , — Frances Locke @ 8:11 PM

american mom

I was reading these two articles from and about whether or not motherhood should be considered the hardest job in the world. Babble’s Meagan Francis makes some great points, and I agree with greymatter’s blogger Angela that motherhood is more than “the sum of all its parts”. But what struck me were all the negative comments on Francis’s post.

Basically a bunch of upper middle class (most likely white) mommies bitching and moaning about how hard their “jobs” are. I have children of my own. I’ve done the stay at home thing, the working out of home thing and the work from home thing, and I’m the first to say none of those options are particularly easy. But the hardest job in the world? Really?

Francis mentions her first job, detassling corn in Michigan when she was thirteen. I did the same crappy job when I was twelve and thirteen, and the thought of doing that for the rest of my life makes me shudder. People who do that for a living do it because they have to, not because they want to. You choose to be a parent. And compared to waitressing for eight hours or more a day, doing construction, or grave digging, it’s a pretty enjoyable vocation.

What our grandmothers and great grandmothers did was hard work. Try making every meal from scratch (because you have to, not because you fancy yourself a gourmet). Try washing your clothes by hand, or dealing without modern conveniences like microwaves, refrigerators and pre-packaged foods. Hell, most of these women don’t even know what it’s like to drag their laundry three blocks to the laundry mat because they have no car. Parents in third world countries and Dickens novels have it hard; American middle class mommies and daddies? Not so much

September 23, 2009

Now that’s a manly man.

Sunday, April 27, 2008


bear_grylls-1.jpg picture by locke403

I’ve been watching a Man vs. Wild marathon on the Discovery channel. So far I’ve seen Bear Grylls;

Squeeze the liquid out of Elephant dung and drink it

Eat testicles

Drink his own pee

Eat maggots ( ” I can taste the gooey cream” )

Skin a rotting deer and wear its fur

Used a bottle full of his own pee as a ” hot water bottle

And its only 6 o’clock. Its on till 8. I’ll keep you updated.


He just ate the head off if a live snake, then said ” Oh, its still moving!”

He also ate the eyes out of a Billy Goat in the last episode…


 He just took a nice, bloody bite out of a live fish…for like the third time today.

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